Destructive Choices Read online

  Doctor Deaton’s voice draws my attention.

  "Mindy is going to get you some medicine while we talk so that you’ll be ready for us to take the tube out in a moment. Did you know you were hit by a car?”

  I blink twice.

  “Okay, the police have been waiting to talk to you but I won’t allow it for a day or two. You need your rest and are extremely lucky that you only sustained the injuries that you have. It easily could have been much worse. You've suffered internal bleeding. We were unable to stop the flow of blood in your spleen, leaving us with no other choice than to remove it." When my eyes grow wide, he takes a moment to gather his thoughts, knowing I want more info. "It's okay. Many people continue to live relatively normal, full lives without their spleen."

  I blink twice.

  “Now, you also fractured a number of ribs. While ribs normally heal pretty well by themselves, you have fractures in multiple locations, which resulted in our need to repair them surgically. I’ll go into further detail later. We trust you will make a full recovery because there doesn't seem to be any damage to your spinal cord. That’s the really good news. You have what we call muscle atrophy. Your muscles will regain the strength they had before, possibly better. We’ve had a physical therapist in to work your muscles while you were asleep. She taught your family a few techniques, as well, so that they can continue in her absence. Please, don't look so scared, Lacey.

  “You were placed on a ventilator because of your lung injury. In order to give it time to heal, we had to put you in a medically induced coma. You will need to stay in here for a while before we move you to a rehab center. Your pulmonary injuries and muscle atrophy will need extended time to heal and are best done in a rehab facility.” As if he can read my panicked thoughts, he dials the details down a bit. “It's going to take time, but you will be walking out of here." He pats my leg as he walks away with Hunkalicious, whose focus is on Becca, on his heels.

  Um, first of all, does the doctor not understand my entire body hurts? And second, why the hell is the intern staring at my bestie?

  After the doctor and his trusty little sidekick are gone, Becca jumps down from the ledge, and moves toward the door, while talking to me over her shoulder.

  "Ah… Lacey, um… Er… I'm going to go find something… to… ah… to drink. I'll be right back." She stammers as she rushes out.

  "This room can be cold. Let’s get you covered up." The Smurfette Mindy covers my legs with a blanket and looks at something behind me.

  Trying to process everything, I don’t feel how much I hurt. I could have easily died. Wow, I was so close to dying! Now I have no spleen. What the hell does the spleen do? Wait, he said I’m going to be in here for a while, and then move to rehab? I'm not an addict or anything. Why do I need to go to rehab? This is just too much to process.

  "Hey, Sweetie. You did excellent."

  Tears spill when I think of the ‘what ifs’. What kind of mother would I be if I could never feel my legs again? What if I had died because I was too worried about running away from Caine to pay attention?

  "I'm so glad you can feel your feet. We were so scared, Sweetie." Mom's crying and running her hand along my cheek to wipe away my tears. We stare into each other's eyes, sharing a mom and daughter moment. I just love her so much.

  "Lacey, you will need to speak with the police eventually. The taxi driver was charged with texting and driving among a few other things."

  Texting? He was texting? I thought he was looking for something in the seat next to him.

  "Oh, Lacey!"

  Mom turns towards the voice, and I don't need to look to know whom it is.

  "Baby, I just heard you're awake." The voice scurries to my other side. My eyes remain on Mom. "Becca told me you could feel your legs, too." The voice is jovial and full of hope.

  "Isn't that wonderful, Caine?"

  "Absolutely, Mrs. Edwards. Becca was so excited about speaking to the doctor that she grabbed me on my way in."

  "Caine, where's Evan?"

  "He's with Lane and Blake. They wanted to take him for the night so I could stay here."

  I close my eyes, unable to process all of the wayward bullshit spilling from his mouth.

  "Aw, that's so sweet of you. I'm so happy you and Lacey are working things out."

  My eyes immediately fly open at Mom's foul words. I'm not working anything out with this douche bag. Why does Mom think this? Fucking bastard probably told her!

  "Lacey, Baby." Caine runs the back of his hand along my cheek, causing me to close my eyes again, wishing I could rewind time. My body isn't the only thing hurting right now. His hand moves to wipe away a tear I didn't know had fallen, and lifts himself up to kiss the top of my head. I once would have melted at this gesture.

  "I'm going to give you two a couple of minutes," Mom says while getting up. "I'll be right outside if you need anything."

  Please don't go, Mom, please. I don't think I'm strong enough. Feeling defeated, I close my eyes and focus on the physical pain. It's so much easier to handle than the heartache or stupidity on my part.

  "I know you're in pain, Honey." Caine picks up my hand and kisses it. "I hope you know how much I love you. You scared the shit out of me, Baby. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

  Doctor Hunkalicious and Doctor Deaton return.

  "Lacey, I'm sure you're thirsty. You’ll only need to wait a few more minutes for us to remove the tube and finish assessing your injuries. Then you can start drinking clear liquids." Mom wanders back in the room, listening intently to the doctor’s words.

  Ugh, I think my mouth is beginning to splinter from lack of moisture, or is it from the words I'm choking back that I can't wait to unleash on that asshole?

  Doctor Deaton finally takes out the breathing tube, which is an incredibly painful process. I begin to dry heave, causing my ribs to ache. It is awful, but I'm so glad to have it out. Next, they place an oxygen tube around my ears, leading to my nose. Great, now I get to feel like I have a constant booger in both nostrils.

  "You're going to need this oxygen on at all times until further instruction. I'm quite serious about it. You are recovering from flail chest, and it can take a long time to heal. We don't want to put any more strain on your airways.”

  I gasp in panic. What is flail chest?

  As if reading my thoughts, Doctor Deaton explains.

  “The blunt force trauma of the accident caused a number of ribs in the same area to break and separate from your chest wall, significantly reducing your airflow. When your ribs broke, they punctured your lung. But, no worries, you’ll be as good as new in no time. Your voice is going to be hoarse for a while from the tube. Feel free to drink clear liquids as much as you'd like. It is critical you rest your airways. I don't want you to carry on conversations. I want you to take a rest, maybe watch some TV, and sleep."

  I almost roll my eyes at Doctor Deaton, but decide against it. He did save my life. I should show a little more gratitude.

  "Um." Holy cow, that hurts. Being the rule breaker that I am, I decide to ask. "When…,” I try to relax my breath. The pressure my lungs use to talk is too much, “…out?" I point to my midsection. My gravely, hoarse voice barely registers above a whisper. I may not be able to feel much down there, but I felt the chill when Mindy removed the blanket from my legs.

  "Lacey, your muscles have not worked on their own for a while. You will need to practice using all your muscles again.”

  I withdraw my eyes from the doctor, not wanting to accept the reality of the situation. NO!

  “You’ve been in a medically induced coma for over five weeks. You need to give your muscles time to strengthen."

  Fuck my muscles.

  "W-w-wh-what?" Screw the pain. Five weeks? How have I missed five weeks? Poor, Evan! I shake my head; I can't focus on anything right now. "E-e-ev... "

  Mom squeezes my hand to help calm my skyrocketing pulse, which is causing an alarm behind me to sound.

  �
�Let's give yourself a day or two to make sure your muscles wake up, and then go from there before we get rid of the catheter."

  I almost shudder at the sound of the word, and if it didn't hurt so bad, trust me, I would have shuttered, shivered, and then some in disgust.

  “Lacey, you will need help sitting, walking, even eating. You have not used your muscles for a long time, and they will tire very quickly. Just relax, and give yourself time.”

  "Heellooooo," Smurf Mindy cheerfully sings, swaying her hips as she walks into the room with Becca on her heels. "I hear someone is now able to drink," she says, raising an eyebrow at me while holding up a cup. "I'll tell you what." She pushes some buttons behind me. "I'll let you have a small sip if you promise to work with the physical therapist who’s on her way up right now."

  I don't think I want a drink now. That means more stuff is going to go through that tube. Yuck! Oh, my God, where does it go? Who and how many people can see it? Eww!

  "Hi handsome, how are you today?" She looks over at Caine.

  I hear a snicker off to the side and turn towards the sound. I knew it... Becca!

  "Now, now, we wouldn't want to nickname you 'Easy Mindy' would we?" Becca asks. Damn, she can be so brazen!

  "Honey, I'll gladly take 'Easy Mindy' over 'Dirty Mindy' any day." Putting her hand on her hip, she waits for Becca's reaction. Damn, is she speechless?

  "Shit boogers, I knew I liked you for a reason," Becca snickers.

  I'm rolling my eyes here. Fuck that hurts.

  Chapter One and a Half

  "Mommy?" Not sure what’s wrong with her, I slowly put my hand on her shoulder, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin.

  "It’s okay, Lacey. Go back to bed, Sweetie." Mommy tries to cover her cries.

  "Why are you crying, Mommy?" I look at her with hopeful eyes that I, a seven-year-old, can make things better for my mommy.

  "It's nothing to worry your pretty little head over. Come on, I'll tuck you back in." And just like that, Mommy reassures me that life as we know it is going to be okay.

  "Mom, I don't understand." I throw my hands up in defeat. "Why can't he come in here?" My baby is out there missing me and probably thinking that I’ve abandoned him. I'm a horrible parent for putting Evan through this. I just miss him so much. His chubby cheeks, the hands he likes to ball up and thrash around, his smell, and the bluest of eyes he uses to look deep into my soul. Ugh, what the hell? Why can't I leave already? I've been in here for six weeks now. Granted, most of it I was knocked out, but still, I need to get out of here.

  I’ve worked hard to get out of bed by myself, but failed miserably. That is the only reason why this thing is still up my hoo-ha. Thank goodness, I'm making progress strengthening my muscles. The sooner I can walk myself to the bathroom, the sooner they will remove this thing.

  I look around at the ugly yellow wallpaper that someone, clearly not in their right mind, used to decorate this room. Who the hell uses yellow wallpaper? I wonder what a guy would say about being placed in a room like this. The frilly flowers and vines duplicate over and over, in what the artists hoped would create a beautiful wall. Yeah, I guess that person needs their head examined. The dirty, white, linoleum squares, if that's what you want to call them, look as though they should have been replaced ten years ago.

  "Lacey, I’ve told you a million times that you need to concentrate on getting better." Mom draws my attention away from the hideous décor. "Please focus on you so that you can be there for Evan. Honey, you are no good to anyone, much less Evan, if you aren't well."

  My heart hurts badly just from hearing his name.

  "Mom, I just want to see him. I miss him so much." Tears begin to well up. "Please tell the doctors I need to hold him. That's going to make me better, I promise. I just need my baby."

  "I've already told you they won't allow an infant on this floor. Hopefully in a couple days, you'll be strong enough to move downstairs, and then we'll have to wait and see. I don't want to sound negative, Baby, but you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that it won’t happen. A nasty, upper respiratory virus has been going around and working its way through the hospital. Doctors and nurses are being extremely cautious with their patients who have pulmonary injuries."

  I sink further into my depression, wondering when my life will stop being filled with so much drama. I need my Evan.

  "Where's Caine?" Not that I really care much. I just worry about how he is with Evan. I still haven't decided whether I should tell them the reason why I was in the middle of the road in the first place. Thank Heavens I've been able to skirt around it. I just need to focus on getting better, and then deal with Caine when I get out. If he knows that I remember, he might take his anger out on Evan, and I can't do that to my little man.

  "Um, I'm not really sure, Honey. He'll probably stop by this afternoon." Just as Mom finishes her sentence, the bastard walks in.

  "Hey, Lacey." He smiles at me in a weak attempt to warm my heart. It almost works.

  Mom gets up.

  "Who's watching Evan?"

  "I just dropped him off at your house with Mr. Edwards. Why? I wanted to come here as soon as possible."

  "Um, okay. Nothing." Mom is pattering around nervously. "Lacey, Sweetie, I need to leave. I'm sorry to be in such a rush. I'll be back tomorrow. Just promise me you'll do everything you can to take care of yourself?"

  "Yes ma'am, I will. Please give Evan smooches and tell him I love him," I plead sadly.

  "Of course, Sweetie. I love you," Mom says, walking towards the door without looking back.

  "You, too," I respond half-heartedly, longing for the day that I get to be the one running out to see my Evan.

  "Lacey," Caine utters, pulling my focus from my mom walking out of my room and heading home to hold the love of my life, my baby boy.

  Reluctantly, I turn my gaze to Caine. I'm met with the familiar yet distant dark amber eyes, absent of the devotion they once possessed. I cannot believe how much of my heart I gave to this manipulative man. I have nothing left to offer him. He has stomped on everything I’ve ever given. The fabrications, vicious words, and violations to my body and mind that he has inflicted caused me to leave once. I can and will do it again. His lies and cheating ways continue. I'm not going to stick around to see if he'll ever change. Who am I to think I can change someone? I deserve more, and so does Evan.

  "We need to talk about the move," Caine says, reminding me of his orders to relocate to Maine. "I need to leave in two weeks. I want you to go with me. Please, come with me, Lacey. You and Evan. I know you don't remember anything about the day of your accident, but we were happy and you told me you loved me. I know that you love me. We can be a happy family."

  Do I dare tell him I remember? What if… NO! I can't have him take it out on Evan while I’m in here. A long time ago, I made a promise not to involve my family or Becca in what goes on between Caine and me. I don’t want to put them in an awkward situation. I’ll just have to pretend a little longer.

  "I don't know how long I'm going to be in here. They're talking about moving me to the rehab center in the next few days." I try to roll over so that I'm facing him, and it takes all my strength to fight the discomfort. I close my eyes, and Caine gently runs his fingers through my hair. I need him to stop. My heart cannot endure much more of this man.

  "Honey, you should be out in plenty of time for us to move."

  What? I open my eyes and study the man in front of me. Is he serious? He must have lost his ever-loving mind. Oh no! He's leaning forward. Don't kiss me, please don't!

  "I love you, Baby," he states, pressing his lips to mine.

  Oh, how I used to love these lips. What do I do now?

  He pulls back to gauge the reaction on my face, and then leans in, deepening the kiss this time. What the fuck? I can kiss him, and not let it affect my decision. Right? Right! His tongue slides in, and I immediately begin to fade. My body has always responded to the way his tongue moves, sweeping, ta
sting every crevice. His hand runs along my head, stopping at the base of my neck, bringing me in closer. He has taken over my mouth, thoughts, and body. I need something to pull me away. I can't do this anymore.

  Shaking my head, I try to pull away.

  "Caine, I can't do this. I just can't. I must..." I’m readjusting the ‘booger tube’ feeding me air, as Becca now calls it, from the onslaught of Caine's kiss.

  Becca barges into the room, saving me from Caine.

  "Hey, Bitch, it's about time my bestie is moving a little more. You know you're not supposed to be getting your freak on in the hospital. I mean like, really?” She huffs, but carries on as if she is the focal point of the conversation. “Sorry I couldn't get away the last few days to visit. These college classes are messing with my fucking social life. Damn my education. I think I'm smart enough. Don't these stupid teachers know this shit?"

  I smile and giggle, and quickly remember how much it hurts to laugh.

  "Becca, you are causing me pain. I kind of liked you not being here to make me laugh. It hurts too much."

  "Whatevs. You know you missed me. I mean seriously, we were like friends at first sight. You can't resist me or my humor." Becca pulls up a chair next to me, and immediately, her stomach grumbles. "Damn, I guess I'm ‘hungs’.” Glancing over to the devil sitting on the other side of me, she asks, “Hey, Caine, you wanna win some man points and pick up something for me and my bestie?" She winks at me, and smiles at Caine.

  "Becca, you are one high maintenance chick. How the hell does Lucas put up with you?" Caine leans over to kiss my forehead. "I'll be back. I love you."

  I smile at him so he won't be suspicious and watch him walk out the door.

  I turn to Becca, holding my breath from the pain moving causes, and she is looking a little sheepish.

  "What's wrong? You seem nervous about something."

  "Ah, it's nothing. I'll tell you later."

  I raise my brow to study her.

  "Seriously, it's nothing at all." Becca waves her hand dismissing the idea, looking instead at the controls on my bed. “What does this button do?”