Destructive Choices Read online

  “Wait!” I try to shout, but I’m a fraction of a second too late. Shit! The bed begins to move up, down, and then my legs fly up. Another button and I’m in a sitting position. Another button and my knees are bent ninety degrees.

  “Love, I’m so sorry,” she says, laughing and pushing more buttons while I brace myself. “Holy shit, I’m sorry. How do you get this thing to stop?” Panic has replaced the laugh in her voice.

  “Arrrrrrrrrgh!” I bellow.

  “What on earth are you doing to the poor thing?” Smurfette Mindy rushes to my aid, as Becca continues to push buttons that raise and lower my feet and head.

  “Beeeeeccccccaaaaaa.” I groan and focus on holding myself together so that the pain isn’t too bad. Mindy comes to my side and removes the control from Becca’s hand, allowing the bed to finally rest in a position where I can ease the hold I have on my body.

  “I am soooooo sorry, Lacey. I hope I didn’t hurt you.” Becca is almost in tears as she airs her regret.

  “It’s okay. Give me a second to relax. Did you possess this bed?” We giggle for a minute while I continue to hold my sides. Poor Becca looks pitiful; she’s so sorry.

  Tears begin to fill her eyes.

  “I promise I won’t touch anything else.”

  “Is there something else going on?” I ask, while she pulls her long hair into a ponytail.

  “No, silly. Why would you even ask? It’s all good.” She waves me off again, but that does nothing to settle my worries.

  "Okay, if you're sure." I give her another good look to make sure she's okay. Still not feeling very certain, I make a mental note to pry the information out of her later. I quickly continue because Caine will be back soon. "I need your help, Love, but I need you to promise me you won't tell anyone. I need to figure this shit out before I say anything. Please promise."

  "Damn, girl, calm the hell down. I promise, as long as I don't need to kick anyone's ass. I promise I won't say anything," she spits in irritation.

  "Seriously, Becca, you may want to kick someone's ass, but there are bigger things at stake here, and I'm asking you to fight the urge and concentrate on helping me figure this out."

  She rolls her eyes.

  "Fine, whatever. I'll try to do my best. Maybe I should just kick your ass and call it even." Becca winks at me, then somehow pulls up her big girl panties and gets serious. "What the hell's going on?"

  My eyes begin to glaze over as my thoughts return to that night.

  "I remember. I have known all along." I chew my lip waiting for her reaction.

  "Remember what, Love?" Her expression changes as she realizes what I mean. "Holy shit, that's awesome! I'm so excited!" Pulling herself up into a straighter position, her face lights up, but it doesn't last. As soon as her look turns joyful, it's gone, and she draws her eyebrows together in irritation. "Now, you can tell me what the fuck you were doing leaving the club before I go buck ass on you!" she says a little too loudly as Smurfette Mindy returns. "Oh, my God, Easy Mindy, guess what Lacey just told me?"

  I reach up and pinch Becca's arm as hard as I can.

  "What the fuck?" she squeals, yanking her arm away, and rubbing it as my eyes throw daggers at her.

  "What did you tell Becca, Lacey?" Smurfette asks as she walks over to the machines and writes something down.

  I shake my head dismissively.

  "Nothing. Caine was here and Becca made him go get something for us to eat. I was just telling her I was hungry." How the hell I was able to think of that so quickly is beyond me, but I'm proud of myself, nonetheless.

  "That's good to hear, Lacey!" Smurfette sounds pleased to hear about my hunger because I haven't eaten much of anything since waking four days ago. "How are you feeling?"

  "Good." I lie.

  "Well, let's get your cocktail in you so your pain doesn’t get worse," she says, eyeing Becca. "Do you need any extra pain meds?"

  Again, I shake my head no. I want to get out of here sooner rather than later. If the doctor thinks that I'm feeling better than I am, then I can see my baby boy quicker.

  "You need to take it easy, Lacey. There is no way the three of us will be able to tear up the dance floor if you're not one hundred percent healed."

  I wrinkle my nose and look over at Becca, who conveniently turns around to look out the crappy-ass, small window.

  “Lacey, Earth to Lacey.”

  I return my attention to Easy Mindy. I have no idea if she was or wasn't talking to me. News flash, she's going to need to repeat that question.

  “What club are we going to first when you get out of here?” Mindy asks.

  "Oh, um. I don't think I'm going out ever again."

  "Don't you dare do the ‘sit of shame’ act with me! That's bullshit, Lacey. This wasn't your fault. It’s the dipshit who wasn't paying attention while driving. Although, you are a dumbass for running out into the road." Becca finishes just as Caine walks in with food. "Oh, thank Heavens. I really need a ‘slam nom’." She immediately takes the food. "Damn Caine, you did good!" she says, opening her spring rolls. "I think you get a 3.5 out of 5 points for this. Oh, great news. Lacey told me–"

  "Arggg!" I quickly yell, feeling the violent vibration throughout my body and causing everyone to turn to me. "Sorry, I was readjusting myself. I keep forgetting my ribs." I glare at Becca, hoping she won't finish what she was about to say. I'm going to kick her ass if she does.

  "Bestie, maybe you should ask for help next time. You know it’s too early to move yourself," Becca says, walking towards me where she notices the tears in my eyes. Grasping what I'm asking of her, she closes her eyes and nods slightly in understanding. "Okay, I gotcha, Love," she says, with a smile and adjusts my pillows. She is anything but happy.

  "What did Lacey tell you?" Caine asks innocently, placing a roll on the tray that appears to be attached to my bed.

  Damn, all they need is to install a freaking toilet in this thing, and I'm set. Oh right, that’s already taken care of.

  Caine begins the feeding ritual by laying a napkin on my chest, knowing how irritated I get when I drop food on my clothes. I'm very thankful since it takes me about thirty minutes just to change my shirt. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but still, it's longer than it should be and takes way too much effort.

  "She said she's never going out again. Can you believe that shit?" Becca shakes her head. I can only roll my eyes at her.

  "Of course you'll go out again, Sweetheart." Caine arranges my drink on my tray.

  I hold in what I really want to say. Yeah, not with you, Sweetheart!

  "Easy Mindy, we should hit the town one night." Becca winks at me as if that's going to annoy me.

  I shake my head at her antics. "You two have fun with that."

  "Damn, I forgot a fork. I'll be back, Babe," Caine says, getting up to walk out.

  "Follow me, we have some in the lounge," Smurfette pipes up.

  "Lacey, what the fuck? You don't want Caine knowing you remember? Did he do something, Love?"

  "Becca, remember you cannot tell anyone this, but I ran out of the club because I found Caine hiding his Willy Wonka in some ho in the bathroom that night. I was taking the douche bag back, and then he went and did that to me." I manage to finish just before said douche walks back in.

  Becca stares at me in disbelief. Caine sits, and her eyes slowly move up to him. It looks like she's going to go ape shit on him.

  "Becca, you wanna move your food over here?" I ask, trying to pull her attention back to reality instead of the world she's in where she beats the shit out of Caine.

  "Fucking douche," she mumbles.

  "What was that, Becca?" Caine asks with big surprised eyes, wondering what the hell just happened.

  "Oh, my fucking stomach hurts," she quickly adds. Nice save Becca!

  "Lacey, you should check out the meat market, Love. We are living it up tonight!"

  Becca directs me into the club. I'm back in the spot where my life changed. One night. It only took one nigh
t for my entire life to change. The crowd is heavier tonight. Perhaps there's something going on that I’ve missed. I peek out onto the dance floor and find Caine and a few guys dirty dancing with some girls. What?

  "Damn, it's like nuts to butts in here," she yells in my ear.

  Seriously, does she not see who is out on the dance floor? I can feel myself shaking from the emotions running through me.

  "Lacey, forget that fuckwit. He's a loser!"

  Becca's abrasive words have me whipping my head back to her, staring speechless. I cannot believe she just said for me to forget him. How can I possibly do that? I love him so much my heart aches! She pulls me to the bar to grab a water and positions me so that I can no longer see him. We drink our water, and I try with all my power to forget who is on the dance floor. I don't know how I will be able to get through tonight. Maybe we should just leave and go somewhere else, since Becca is bound and determined to make me participate in this ‘going out’ charade.

  "Come on, Lacey, let's dance."

  Becca pulls my arm and drags me out onto the stomping ground where my life forever changed. I close my eyes and let the music begin to pass through my body. I sway my hips and shoulders as the rhythm begins to glide me into my bubble, my refuge. It feels amazing to release the built-up heat and anger through my arms as the bass takes me to the next level of ecstasy. The song changes and the rhythm is a bit faster, extracting a happy response from my body. I enjoy being on the dance floor and losing myself. The spirit of music running through my veins is rehabilitating. I'm lost to the world around me and to my reality.

  Just as I'm relaxing into my skin, I feel a hand on my hip. What the...? Just fuck it. Who gives a shit anymore, really? I'm going to simply go along with it and sway along with the sensations moving through me. The hand moves to my stomach, pulling our bodies closer. The song “Tip Toes” by Jayme Dee begins, and the upbeat tempo has me shaking my head and pushing my hips into each position regardless of the body pressing behind me. I'm leading the movements and he's following suit. Then his other hand runs down the side of my body as I push my arms into the air. Hot damn, this feels good. I tilt my head back and feel a slight pain run through me. This body feels so familiar. Oh no, please God, not now. Taking a deep breath, I turn around and stop dead in my tracks. Caine! He reaches behind me, pulling me back towards him. I'm lost in his deep longing eyes. I've always had a problem saying no when he looks at me like this. He begins to move his hips, directing mine to follow. My heartbeat is leaping out of my skin. His eyes go to my mouth. Fuck! With his eyes returning to mine, he leans in, captures my mouth, and I've lost the battle. I love his hungry kisses. Closing my eyes, I enjoy our dancing tongues and melt into him.

  A few songs later, we move off the dance floor to get a drink. Caine orders me a water, thank Heavens, I needed that, while he orders a beer. Nice! I guess some things don't change. I look across the dance floor and watch Becca lose herself with Lucas. He's a good guy. Why couldn't Caine be nice like him? I'm happy for Becca. She deserves it, and I hope things stay well between them.

  Caine leans down to kiss my cheek, moving his mouth up to my ear, extracting a shiver out of me. "I'm going to use the restroom. I'll be right back, okay?"

  I nod to him as he leaves me on hormonal overdrive. I may as well go myself. The crowd seems to have grown, and I feel like I'm swimming upstream as I try to get through the bodies. I'm happy once I reach the point of a little breathing room between me and other patrons. Walking into the bathroom, I'm tickled to see an open stall. I finish up and wash my hands. I hear a noise next to me. No! Oh, God no, please no. My heart falls into my stomach as I shake my head and scream. "No, you can't be doing this to me again, Asshole! How dare you! Why can't you just let me go, leave me alone, and never contact me again?" Caine moves towards me, and I start hitting his chest as he pulls me in attempting to calm me down.

  "Lacey, Lacey, wake up!"

  I feel my body convulse and shake.

  "What the hell? Lacey, Baby, please wake up!" Caine is shouting.

  I throw my head back and open my eyes. Oh, thank God, it was a dream. Holy shit, that seemed so real.

  "Sweetheart, you’re dripping in sweat. You had another nightmare. Are you okay?"

  I stare into Caine's eyes as tears begin to flow, and my chest feels like it’s ripping apart.

  I shake my head. "No, Caine, I'm not okay. I need to tell you something."

  I'm startled as Becca shouts, "Lacey!"

  "It’s okay, Becca. I need to say this. Caine, I remember that night." I utter before I lose the courage.

  His eyes move around my face, searching for the answer that I'm trying to convey. He remains expressionless.

  "Um... I'm going to go... Uh, Love… call me later, okay?" Becca walks out, her sad eyes looking at me over her shoulder.

  "You remember?"

  When I nod my head, he reaches down and grabs the seat that he apparently jumped out of, slumping his body into it. We stare at each other for a while as realization sets in.

  His face falls, and he knows what this means. "Lacey..."

  I shake my head. "No Caine, please. This is hard enough already. I can't."

  My words cause Caine to drop his head to my side. Keeping his head down, he says, "Baby, please. Don't do this. I made a huge fucking mistake. You have to know how sorry I am. Please, Baby, please. I know I screwed up more than anyone here. I fucked up!" His pleas grow louder as he raises his head to look into my eyes. "Lacey, you can't do this. We are working our shit out, and that's final!"

  I close my eyes, needing to brush off the anger in his tone while more tears spill.

  "Look at me, Lacey. This is complete bullshit. I love you, you love me, and we have Evan. It's simple as that. What the fuck? We are moving to Maine in a couple of weeks."

  I turn my head allowing my tears to flow.

  "I'm not going, and neither is Evan." I can't look at him at this moment. This is the fork in the road I’ve been trying to avoid.

  "The fuck you aren't going. And don't ever tell me Evan won't go. He's my son, and I'll take him Lacey. With or without you! I'm fucking twenty-two years old. You aren't going to tell me what I will and will not fucking do." Caine jumps up and stomps out of the room.

  And, just like that, he's gone, leaving a chill and the sting of his words in his absence. He wouldn't just take Evan from me. Would he? His company commander will kick his ass and probably court-martial him... Right...?

  "Is everything okay?"

  The words startle me. Lost in my thoughts, I don’t realize someone has walked in.

  "I heard him yell and...” She stops as tears reveal my pain.

  I shake my head no. Nothing is okay right now.

  "Let's get you a sedative and sleep some of that off."

  I try to argue, but I'd much rather sleep than deal with reality. Just hopefully, no more dreams.

  I pull the covers over my face and allow myself to grieve. I've lost him forever. He's really gone. I'll never again have those lips on mine. How can I already miss him? How can I love such a man who isn't worthy of my love? He's a monster. I want to curl up in a ball and pray for sleep to take me away, but I can't. I'm stuck in this fucking bed. Why did this have to happen? I need Evan, and I can't see him. I want to scream and beat the shit out of something, but I don't have the strength. I should be happy he's gone, and we're cutting ties, but I truly love him or the person I thought he was.

  Chapter Two and a Half

  "Mrs. Edwards, I need you to please move out of the way, or we will have no other option but to arrest you too," a police officer says to Mommy. Why is he being mean and wanting to take Daddy away? I thought policemen are supposed to be nice. Wiping my tears with the back of my hand, I run to Mommy because she looks like she needs a hug. Mommy always says hugs make everything better.

  "Lacey, Honey, please go back to your room like I asked you earlier. I'll be in there soon."

  I cry more. "But Mommy, why are
they taking Daddy away?" My lips are trembling, and I'm scared for Daddy. "Please, Daddy, tell them you were a good boy. I don't want you to leave us. Daddy, tell them." I look up at the officer who has a sad look on his face.

  "Lane?" Mom hollers down the hallway and Lane comes walking in slowly, unsure that she wants to be here. "Lane, can you help Lacey back to her room, and then I'll come talk to you girls soon, okay? I love you."

  "No, Mommy, I don't want to leave." I wrap my arms tight around Mommy's leg so that no one can make me go with Lane. I look up at Mommy's face. Her swollen eyes and tears are making me sad.

  Mommy squats down and looks me in the eye. I love Mommy's big brown eyes; they are so pretty. I don't have brown eyes. Mine are blue like the ocean, she tells me. "Lacey, Mommy is not going anywhere. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you do that?" I nod at Mommy because she is smart and knows everything. "Can you go to your room with Lane and start watching a movie? I promise I'm not going anywhere. As soon as these nice police officers leave, I'll come watch the movie with you." Mommy tries to smile at me. She doesn't want to smile; she wants to cry.

  "Lacey, Sweetie, everything is fine. Please do what Mommy says," Daddy tells me. I don't want to make him mad, so I follow Lane down the hall to my room, but not before stopping to look over my shoulder at Mommy, Daddy, and the police officers one more time. They are all watching Lane and me as if we are the ones in trouble. I don't know why they are taking Daddy. Turning around in a fit of tears, I run to my room.

  A misdemeanor? That freaking cab driver is getting a slap on the wrists. I'm stuck in this fucking bed, unable to see my son, and he's out trolling the town free. I don't care if he’s been fired. He should be behind bars. Texting and driving should not be legal. And now Caine, he's gone. I can't take much more grief right now.

  "Lacey?" Easy Mindy asks, walking into my room.

  I hide my face under the covers a little while longer. I don't want to look up. The messed up clarity of losing Caine will become my reality. The fact that all this, my unconscious state, learning to walk again, everything, is in vain has become is my reality.